The answers to our prayers are not always comfortablex
I’ve been asking God in recent weeks to open my eyes to any hidden sins in my heart and life and to be honest friends, I don’t like what I see!
Just recently as my eyes are being opened, I’m seeing just how often I sin with my tongue. It starts in my heart with something little that irritates me with my family.
Do you also find that it’s your family that sees the worst in you, those you love the most and least want to hurt are the ones that get the most of your old nature thrown at them?
Well, something little irritates me inside but then I let it come out.
Sometimes I may say it jokingly but in it is a little thrust.
Other times I speak sharply when it could have been said kindly or not at all.
I particularly trip up when there is something by way of discipline that needs to be said, or I need to ask my youngest to do something and knowing that he’ll probably have an answer because he invariably does, just as his mother used to, (talk about reap what you sow!!) so expecting an answer I begin by asking him in a cross tone of voice.
Sometimes he’ll even say, why are you cross when you ask me to do things!
These things prick my heart but it has become a habit and I need so much help from God to be more Christ like.
God is showing me that a big part of where I fall is that I so often react instead of respond.
When I need to discipline I am often annoyed by the behavior so my discipline comes from the place of my annoyance rather than from my love and desire to guide him to walk in ways that honour the Lord.
There is a subtle but huge difference between reacting and responding!
The devil gives me excuses, “don’t forget you’re not well, it’s so hard to be patient when you’re in pain and exhausted”.
Yes it is but that doesn’t make it any less sinful, it doesn’t make it okay!
“Well they need to learn… And I need to discipline as a parent.”
Yes, but not by reacting, not by venting my irritation in harsh words! But by responding lovingly and rebuking with firm but kind words.
I fear that too often my family see the ‘Me’ in me and not Christ in me!
These things may only be evident outwardly at times but even when God helps me to hold my tongue there are still times when the irritation is in my heart.
What hurts me so much is that this is my family, it’s those I love the most!
I just cannot do this alone, there is a constant unseen battle waging in my heart, but I thank God that we are not alone in this constant battle friends.
My dear Redeemer lived the perfect life I cannot live, He paid the price for my sins and He now lives inside me and is willing to help me if I just trust Him to do it.
I don’t need to STRIVE harder, I just need help to LEAN harder!
‘Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you.’
How I long to be made more like Jesus!
Your fellow soldier in the battle,